Can A.V. Equipment Be Sexy?

Can A.V. Equipment Be Sexy?

No you weirdo, it can’t. But it can make an immense impact on how your special day unfolds. Every item of equipment I use has been thoroughly, painstakingly, wife-annoyingly researched.

Research shows millennials consult an average of 13.9 reviews before making a purchase. I am single-handedly bringing up that average. I prefer to narrow my choices until I’m faced with a dilemma (or trilemma if I’m feeling fancy).

Then I weigh the pros and cons of each option and project into the future every useful attribute or potential drawback in ever-increasing levels of far-fetchedness. For example, I know I don’t currently need to string 20 speakers together…but I might need to.

The point I’m making is that choosing the right equipment means that you are getting the best possible equipment with the least chance of anything going wrong.

One of the many, many reasons I love being a Marriage Celebrant is it enabled me to channel my inner audiophile. And by audiophile I mean ‘rampant consumer seeking justified spending’.

All of my audio equipment has been meticulously researched. I used my proprietary QRS© scorecard to make sure I picked the best equipment available. What’s is QRS© you may ask? Quality, Reliability, and Sexiness. Wait, didn’t I just say AV equipment can’t be sexy? Apparently I was wrong. Read on!

Look at this thing. Have you ever seen a speaker so sexy it could be an Instagram influencer? Apart from looking amazing in your wedding photos, the Bose S1 Pro has wide sound dispersion which makes sure all of your guests can hear the ceremony clearly, no matter your venue setup.

The S1 Pro is also battery operated so the top of your aisle will be free from unsightly cords, and, importantly, tripping hazards.

The Bluetooth receiver on the speaker is professional grade. When you are walking down the aisle to your favourite song, you want to make sure the sounds stay crisp and free from lagging or skipping.

The S1 Pro stays solid even when people stand up and there’s bodies between the audio source and the speaker. To test this I filled 3 sacks with 85kg of Brunswick-grade tofu and placed it between my phone and the speaker. Why not use real humans? For Science, that’s why. Also it means all my couples receive a special gift which may or may not be a frozen Tofurkey*.

There’s also this little ToneMatch switch that toggles between Speech and Music which presumably makes me sound more like a guitar.

* It definitely may.

The image this mic conveys is that what you are saying is worth amplifying. It weighs 500g fully loaded so you can sneak in a couple cheeky bicep curls while speaking to your soulmate in front of your most important people. There’s even a futuristic LCD screen so you can check on the Twitterverse while waiting for the ring exchange**.

This mic is the latest in Sennheiser’s G4 range which is at least (1) better than their G3 range. It operates in the 626 - 668 MHz frequency which means it won’t be affected by interference from Bluetooth, TV broadcast signals, drones, and microwaves. That’s right, you could be microwaving popcorn^ during the ceremony and this mic would still pick up every nuance of what you’re saying.

I’ve heard this is the same mic Dua Lipa uses on tour but she has refused to respond to my multiple requests for comment.

** Not really.

^ Allowed as long as you share!

The Sennheiser HSP2 is the Halal Snack Pack of headworn-microphones. How you may ask? To accurately describe this would involve torturing a metaphor beyond what’s allowed under the Geneva Convention. Let’s just say it’s perfect for every occasion and hits the mark every time.

This mic is ultra thin and barely noticeable. Contrast this to other cheaper models that look better-suited to an afternoon group treadmill-yoga session for puppies.

The HSP2 is super effective at isolating my voice and blocking out wind noise which would otherwise be distracting. We will have spent a lot of effort planning and perfecting every word said during the ceremony so it’s critical the equipment we use lets us perfectly convey them.

I’ve included links to the products so you have an idea of the equipment cost. I charge around the average cost for wedding celebrants but the equipment you get to use for your ceremony is far from average!

Feel free to get in touch using the green chat icon, using the form below, or emailing me at contact@celebrant.info.

Can A.V. Equipment Be Sexy?